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hackrabbit @ : Introduction
"Hi, my name is (deleted for privacy) and I'm a Neurotypical. In fact most of my friends are NT's. My family has only quite recently become aware of my condition. But fortunately they support me in this."
Finding out you are an NT never is easy. But luckily there are those who know what it is like. With whom you can share thoughts and ideas on how to cope with this situation and how to handle its common symptoms.
In an effort to support those who are NT, have an NT relative or know an NT this community has been founded. Feel free to exchange thoughts and anecdotes. If you have helpful hints or tips on how to get the most out of your predicament post them here.
And remember: you are not alone.
I have a neurotypical friend. Is there anything I can do to help him fit into autistic society?
Alas your friend may never completely fit into autistic society. It is a burden NTs have to live with every day. However they can be made aware of their condition, even to such levels that future contact for both parties will be highly enjoyable.
First and foremost it is necessary for your friend to be educated about his or her traits and behavior. E.g. direct him/her to one of the many links you may find in this community's info. Or recommend a good book dealing with the various aspects of this issue.
A neurotypical can only begin to understand by being made aware. It may take time and patience but even NTs can learn to live perfectly satisfying lives and prove to be of beneficial value, to both you yourself and society.
(As for sound, honest advice: talking might be a good way to start. However you may not feel like talking and your friend may not want to listen. Writing things down in such cases really comes in handy, as does the huge amount of literature available on this topic. Having them read about this may help, even if it starts with something as small as a newspaper article.
But aside from this it's always important to communicate at some level. The NT-mind works in mysterious ways and only together may you come to understand exactly how.)
I wish you and your friend the best of luck. And I hope hear about improvements in regards to this situation. ;)
Suffering mild NT symptoms but on the road to recovery
I've recently become more aware of my own NT symptoms. Although I consider myself only mildly NT, it's clear that my NT tendencies seriously impair my functioning as an independent person. I am learning to come to terms with this disabling condition, with the help of my autistic son.
you guys have the definitons for neuro diversity and neuro typical totaly the wrong way round!
I am the ADHD representative for DANDA which is the Developmental ADULT Neuro diverse association.........
This is the most funny thing I've read in times. I really needed some cheering up today.. Thanks! Finally someone who agrees with me that the NTs are the ones with the problem, not the people with autism :'D.
|Date:||July 29th, 2006 04:55 pm (UTC)|| |
Actually, I think neither group has a problem. They're just different, and sometimes diversity is good.
|Date:||November 7th, 2004 07:56 am (UTC)|| |
Just another slight to the Autistic community
Do you people not realise this is just another slight to those of us who are on the Autistic spectrum? Or is it in fact a huge joke to you to belittle and ostracise a part of society that wants to be included?
|Date:||November 7th, 2004 01:16 pm (UTC)|| |
Re: Just another slight to the Autistic community
Actually this community was formed for exactly the opposite reason: to take the behavior of neurotypicals, "those not on the spectrum", and in a jestful manner look at how it's wrong or not working for others. Followed by how it could be improved to the betterment of both those on and off the spectrum.
I am honestly sorry if this wasn't clear and thus has offended you. I hope you believe me when I tell you this certainly wasn't the intention of this opening entry. And I also have to admit that the lack of actual entries does not help to clarify the original intent. I therefore apologize for any grief or agony this may have caused you.
I am of the belief that it is not only a matter of those on the spectrum to "fit in" (if they are willing to in the first place, they will always have that choice) but that it is even more up to "neurotypicals" to be open and understanding. So that it'd be easier for those that want to "fit in" to actually fit in. And for those that don't want to "fit in" and live their lives the way they want to, to be able to do that. Without being hindered by the rest of society. And someone has to point that out to "neurotypicals".
If you have any more information, on how you felt a different message came across and how this could be corrected and improved, I will be more than glad to hear your recommendations.
Just replying, sincerely yours.
Affective Deprivation Disorder
I am the wife of a man recently diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS). I was reaching out for support and information for myself when I came upon a description of Affective Deprivation Disorder (AfDD). When I saw those words my heart leapt – resonance – someone has put a name to what I have been feeling for many years.
It feels like I have no more reserves for tolerating a lack of resonance, understanding, and empathetic validation. I feel depleted and cannot tolerate sharing my feelings and having them unacknowledged or invalidated. I have become COMPLETELY DEPLETED (CD).
In this CD state I have been reaching out for help, information and empathetic validation. The first link I clicked on responded with “Error 401 file not found.” In effect - affective deprivation!
So I looked at some other sites. Most of them are hostile towards those suffering from AfDD because it has been associated with AS and the Aspies are fighting back! More affective deprivation (with a little abuse thrown in for good measure).
I went to my therapist after a week of emotional devastation over my husband’s diagnosis – I shared how I saw the situation as hopeless. She responded, “I Disagree.” !!!
For the record, it feels like a hopeless diagnosis FOR ME god damn it!
And YES I am suffering from AfDD – and I don’t give a FUCK who doesn’t agree. You see, now I’m not reaching out for anymore god dammed help. I’m writing my own fucking article on my own fucking disorder in order to help MYSELF. So fuck all of you. Fuck you all to fucking hell!
AfDD can lead to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, apathy, isolation and feelings of exhaustion and emptiness. It occurs when one’s feelings are unreciprocated and/or invalidated over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
Gee, I’m feeling a little better. Thank you Me, for understanding and validating my feelings!
Many wives of AS husbands (we are also known as NT’s, i.e. neurotypicals, normal people married to people with AS). You see, we’re nothing special, just typical people married to “special” people who do not return our warmth, expressed feelings of love and encouragement. In return for loving deeply and completely from the bottom of our hearts, we receive… nothing at all – or perhaps some good old fashioned invalidation from our therapists (the people we fucking PAY for a little empathetic validation).
I say to those of you who are also suffering from AfDD, your feelings are valid, reasonable, and completely understandable! You matter. Your feelings matter. You deserve love, warmth, and empathetic validation. Your lives are not “typical,” they are tragic, and your efforts to persevere, one day at a time, are nothing short of heroic.
I tried to join an online support group for the wives of those with AS. The link brought me to an error message: File Not Found. I emailed the organizer who did RESPOND! She was kind enough to refer me to some books and articles and to let me know that the link to the online support group should be fixed soon! Gee, thanks! At least I got a crumb!
I have lived my life on crumbs. But, at present, I am starving and unable to sustain myself on crumbs. Sorry!
So now, I say to you and to MYSELF – find a therapist who offers EMPATHY. Pay them to feed you empathetic validation. If they blow it – FIRE their asses. If you can’t find ANYONE and/or can’t AFFORD a therapist who can and will provide this, well I guess you’re going to have to provide it to yourself! By definition empathy comes from an “other” so this is impossible. But let’s give it a shot, shall we?